There are many aspects of life over which a youngster has little influence. That is why, both physically and emotionally, children rely on their parents or caregivers to keep them safe and secure. Unfortunately, some parents engage in harmful conduct known as toxic parenting, which can have long-term consequences.
Toxic refers to something that is dangerous, harmful, or contaminated. A toxic parent is someone whose unpleasant, poisonous behaviour causes emotional harm to their children. And the resulting harm can taint a child’s sense of self.
We set the tone for our children as parents. It has a rippling effect on the rest of the family when we’re optimistic and positive. We make life unpleasant when we are disheartened and cynical. Negative comments, personal jabs, or a nasty tone of voice or body language are all examples of how we might do this.
No good parent wants to hurt their child, but toxic relationships can creep into family life without your knowledge, especially when you’re stressed.
Let’s look at some examples of toxic parenting and then discuss how to improve things for the better.
Don't shame your child
Parents may want to try an activity that allows you to experience modest embarrassment.
First, say “Yes!” a few times out loud. Take note of how you feel as a result of that. Do you crack a grin? Do you get a sense of anticipation or joy?
Say “No!” out loud a few times. Your grin could turn into a frown. Do you get a tense feeling? Some parents may become enraged as a result of their children’s behavior.
Empathy can help you comprehend how your actions may affect your child’s feelings.
If a youngster is embarrassed, will she be harmed for the rest of her life? No, as long as it happened only once in a while in the context of unconditional love and acceptance. However, if these humiliating exchanges continue throughout childhood, the shame can become toxic.
Additionally, explore how your child can develop love towards you and others in our other blog titled A Child Love Towards Parents, Friends, Pets, Toys And Many More…. – Mumtree
Allow your child to express his/ her feelings
Giving directions or arranging your family’s daily schedule are only a few examples of what communication entails. It’s about being able to express and acknowledge feelings, hopes, dreams, and anxieties, as well as asking for support. Building a solid family life requires having a robust and meaningful discourse. Feelings aren’t always easy to express, but everyone benefits when you’re conscious of how you speak and listen to your children.
If you generally speak with your child in a one-sided manner, it’s time to think about if you’re engaging in toxic parenting.
Listening is significantly more important than talking when it comes to improving any connection. It doesn’t matter if you’re interacting with your children, spouse, or coworker—if they have something essential to say, give them the floor and listen intently. When the other person pauses for feedback, you can add your thoughts.
Never do toxic parenting with sarcasm
You may feel clever when you come up with a clever remark, but sarcasm implies that your words have a bite to them. Snide remarks can be amusing and even acceptable on occasion. However, sarcasm is sometimes more harmful than beneficial, especially when dealing with a child’s conduct.
When we’re worried or insecure, we often resort to sarcasm as a coping method. Being aware of sarcasm is the first step toward conquering it.
Consider having someone, similar to a court reporter, record everything you say. Sarcasm frequently doesn’t transfer well in writing since your tone and body language aren’t conveyed. Would someone be disturbed by what you said if they saw all of your snarky comments as a written record because they didn’t see the “joke”?
It takes some getting used to, but always remember to pause and think before speaking. Every sarcastic remark contains a hint of anger. Is that the kind of person you want to be? You’ll catch yourself before those sarcastic one-liners have a chance to injure someone if you pause before speaking.
Concerned parents who want to do the right thing and are prepared to examine themselves critically should look for symptoms of toxicity in their child-parent relationship.
This healthy level of self-awareness, as well as the desire to make positive changes, will go a long way toward producing intelligent, successful, and confident children who enjoy a pleasant relationship with you.